This page is filled with mementos (stories, pictures, items)
from Avery's survivors.
Zan and Liane holding a picture ... with Avery.
(L to R: Ave, Liane, & Zan)
brAVERY
I waited for her corny, hysterical puns and passionate outcries for Chipotle. I was ready to join in on "amusing" jokes but the absence of her contagious, roar of a laugh was deafening. My thumbs grew sore, consistently refreshing her twitter page to the same 1,775 tweets. I found patience to by my foe as frustration overwhelmed me - tired of waiting. This "joke" was beginning to not be so funny and my hope to hear from Avery began to crumble slowly inside. Where was her long expected text? My heart began to ache. The tears started to flow. My heart longed for her wise, comforting words when no one else's mattered. I pushed to resist to accept the fact that the life I had known so well had been stripped away and had taken Avery with it.
The tears stung with guilt, my throat parched for just a few more words with her. God had gained an angel, but the world was stripped of a little piece of heaven. Her warm, chocolate eyes revealed no inner struggle, and we were all fools. My problems were her problems, my obstacles she took on with me, yet where was her army when she went to battle with the world? Avery held the world on her shoulders and I stood back and watched her do so. How? How did I miss it? Her mask of a warrior fooled us all, only to be unveiled when it was too late.
Yet we're left with her memories and that itself is a treasure. Her every intention of kindness, in hopes of benefiting someone else, is an unforgettable lasting impact. Countless times she acted as my conscious, made me laugh, or simply just inspired me in general and for that I owe it to her to celebrate her life by following her example.
A piece of me will forever be missing but Avery's impact was greater over all. Subconsciously, I find myself scrolling through old pictures, reminiscing, and laughing to myself admiring her strange sense of humor through old texts and corny tweets. I'm not sure if the pain, or grief will every completely subside of if the hole in our hearts will ever mend but in that sense Avery will forever be a part of us. Her wise state of mind will shine through when I'm faced with a difficult situation, her intelligence my guide. Chipotle, a significant reminder of her passion and the true character she was. Lending a hug to a stranger I will take on as "an act of Avery" and forever be reminded of her unending kindness towards others. Her genuine smile and thrilling laugh are ours to treasure in our own ways and we will forever cherish her memory.
Never will I forget the friend I confided in when I felt life was going to hell, the girl who saved me from sitting at home on Friday nights on countless accounts, or the one who made me laugh so hard my abs ached for hours. I was fortunate enough to have Avery in my life for a short period of 7 of her 17 years and although I would give so much to go back and guide her where she saw no way out the way she did for me, reality is I can't and through her life and from her death I take that we all struggle no matter visible or not. In a world of hurt we need one another. The way Avery was the light when all else failed, we take the burden of carrying on this act of selflessness for others in this way, Avery will forever live on.
I love you my dear, true, loyal, beautiful friend. You will never be forgotten.
Lorna D.
May 10, 2014
Avery’s ‘late night’ best buds … playing for her (Lafayette LAX) Jack D, Matt R & Matt W 5.6.2014
I Believe
I believe when we first met,
God knew we'd make a pair.
In that moment, little did we know,
The friendship we would share.
I believe when you came in my life,
The timing was just right.
The jokes we told, the laughs we shared,
Made the darkest days seem bright.
I believe when we crossed paths,
It was for a reason.
Our friendship was no accident,
Not temporary like the seasons.
I believe you left this earth,
Having changed me for the better,
And I believe you're still with me,
Even if we're not together.
Jack.R.
Bright. She could light up the entire world with just her smile.
Loving. She took time out of her day to care for those who needed her.
Inspiring. She made everyone say, “One day, I want to be like Avery.”
Talented. She worked hard and could accomplish just about every task she took on.
Witty. She could make everyone laugh.
As far back as elementary school, Avery knew family and friends were the most important thing in this world. She cared wholly and loved freely, inviting people into her heart. She looked out for the struggling, cared for the broken, and watched over the needy. Avery’s sense of humor made people smile and her laughter was contagious.
Avery excelled at just about everything - from gaining acceptance into the National Honors Society to receiving the title of “Features Editor” for the school newspaper to earning spots on both the Varsity soccer and Varsity field hockey teams – just to name a few.
Nobody will forget her beautiful smile, embracing arms, or strong heart. Avery had the power to paint a rainbow among a sky full of clouds and draw stars among a night full of darkness. She was truly special. As days turn into months and months turn into years, our dear Avery will remain watching over us, protecting and loving all she knew. We still reach for her heart and listen for her hopeful words. Avery, you are our angel. Fly high. We will forever love you.
Erica .M.
May 2015
Avery was an award winning Features Editor in 2013-2014. She received a posthumous award in March 2015 “Best of Show” (top honor) for a feature story on the St. Louis Cardinals in Lafayette’s Image newspaper’s centerfold (or the double-truck as these journalists called it). The above was the back of the 2015 Senior booklet dedicated to Ave.
Adopted a portion of Hwy 100 in Wildwood to remember Avery. Lafayette High NHS and Field Hockey have regularly picked up litter along with groups of friends and family. I am humbled by the support to keep her stretch of highway looking great!
Check out this video out ... Emily gave a talk at Loyola her freshman year about a moment or experience that opened her eyes to see the world in a new light. She chose to talk about Avery
and the stigma surrounding mental illness. WELL SAID!! So very proud of you Emily!
(November 2015)
In memory of Avery, legislation was passed and signed by (then) Governor Nixon in June 2016. The legislation requires all Missouri school districts to provide suicide prevention education for their teachers to take as an option and get developmental credit for taking the 2 hour class. Subtle changes in a student’s behavior may be seen more easily in the classroom setting, and especially if those changes last for 2 weeks. The teacher would communicate their observations to the appropriate person at their school. This can and will SAVE lives! I have not met one teacher that would not take this class. Avery would be so humbled. For me, maybe something good can happen from our devastating and tragic loss. No parent should ever walk in my shoes.
The photo above was taken by Avery’s dear friend, Zan, while on vacation. Besides being a beautiful picture with all different textures … Zan brought Avery with her to the beach. This is truly heaven on earth. Jan 2017
around three years ago, i lost a dear friend, Avery Cantor. i adored her during the four years i knew her, and once she was no longer around, i developed an even deeper appreciation for everything she was. i can still proudly say she is one of the most intelligent people i have ever encountered. she knew something about everything, and her intelligence was conveyed through her humility, never through pride. her intelligence consistently impressed me, as did her sense of humor. she could make anyone laugh through her infinite collection of puns, embarrassing stories and bubbly and charismatic demeanor. she had the gift of making strangers feel comfortable, and cared for. in high school, i envied her impeccable music taste, wide range of knowledge about obscure topics, and immense empathy. over the past three years, and with the help of some of her friends, i've realized that in most ways, Avery was different from the rest of us. she was instinctually kind, sincere and warm. her intensity yielded success in everything she did. above all else, Avery was completely her own. i often think about who she would be now: what music she would like, what she would be dedicating her time to, even what style birkenstocks she would own (my guess is the toe strap kind). i notice her absence every day; but more importantly, i recognize her presence. for instance, for reasons unknown, all wildflowers remind me of her. i used to make fun of her chubby hands, which resulted in noticing the hands of every new person i meet. sometimes a person will speak passionately, and i'll be reacquainted with the way her eyes widened and her hands reached out when she told any story, or recited any fact. grief is ugly, and long; but, grief is far from useless. Avery is everywhere - in my dreams, in a song lyric, in a laugh echoing through a room. hold onto your people, even if they're going through hell. learn everything you can about them. they are worth it. Avery still is. consider this: if i had never met her, would i have a reason to pull off the highway to get a closer look at a tiny patch of weeds and flowers? how lucky am i that our friendship still matters this much?
Alaina .S.
May 8,2017
Why I, Avery’s mom, advocate. Always wear her class ring (left hand) when advocating with legislators or when speaking/panelist.
Capitol Hill
Washington DC June 2017
Carol’s NEW 2019 license plate … #brAvery!
“MORE STORES TO COME”